The Bachelorette | What Happens In Vegas

[EPISODE SPOILERS] After our first travel destination of Park City, UT, we’re off to Vegas this week. I’m very excited for these dates! I really need to go to Vegas so if anyone wants to send me, use that contact button below! Hahaha So who’s stuck around long enough to get to Sin City?

Alex
31
Atlanta, GA
Construction Manager

Becca loved the tie.

 

Blake
28
Bailey, CO
Sales Rep

Comes in riding an ox… Dark salmon jacket. Feelings as strong as an ox. (We met him at ATFR, he put her on the horse.)

Chase
27
Sanford, FL
Advertising VP

“Its all about the Chase.”

 

Chris
30
Orlando, FL
Sales Trainer

Plans to win over Uncle Gary so he brings a choir. “All God’s children got a rose.”

 

Christian
28
San Diego, CA
Banker

Suave, twirls Becca.

 

Christon
31
Los Angeles, CA
Former Harlem Globetrotter

Dying to know more about her…

 

Clay
30
Chicago, IL
Pro Football Player

Very family oriented. Caught a lot of passes but if he lands her, she’d be the biggest catch of her life. He’ll catch her inside. Fun fact, he (or someone catfishing as him) came up for me on Bumble + I accidentally swiped left! I didn’t know you could undo your left swipes + I’m devastated. He’s cute!

 

Colton
26
Denver, CO
Former Pro Footbal Player

Born on Super Bowl Sunday, used to play for the Chargers, has a cousin with CF + started a foundation for people with CF. Also has a cute dog. Confetti cannon so they can get started with a bang.

 

Connor
25
St. Petersburg, FL
Fitness Coach

Gets down on one knee, he’s ready to take this journey with her + do the damn thing. Ring box with a printout of a ring.

 

Darius
26
Sherman Oaks, CA
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

Not nervous because he already met her on ATFR.

 

David
25
Denver, CO
Venture Capitalist

Chicken suit. Not here to ruffle feathers, wants to build an egg-celent relationship, will see her in the henhouse

 

Grant
27
Danville, CA
Electrician

Respects her for what she went through but wants to forget about all that so they can let loose + have a good time.

 

Garrett
29
Reno, NV
Medical Sales Rep

Imitates Wisconsin accent, fishes, “hope she’s as good of a catch as I am.” Minivan, hopes to be a great dad. Soccer ball, baby bag, car seat. “Oh my God, that was good.”

 

Jake
29
Minneapolis, MN
Marketing Consultant

Says he looks familiar… they’re both from Minneapolis. Acquaintance. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”–Becca

 

Jason
29
Buffalo, NY
Sr. Corporate Banker

Teaches her his handshake.

 

Jean Blanc
31
Pensecola, FL
Colognoisseur (Is this real life? According to his ABC bio he also works in finance.)

From Haiti. “She needs a man that smells good + I’m going to blow her nose away.” Teaches her “Let’s do the damn thing!” in French. “Wow he smelled so good.”

 

 

Joe
31
Chicago, IL
Grocery Store Owner

Doesn’t know women as well as tomatoes. Forgets everything he was gonna say… literally says nothing.

 

 

John
28
San Francisco, CA
Software Engineer

Hopes love can happen overnight because it happened for his grandparents. Almost gets lost going into the house.

 

Jordan
26
Crystal River, FL
Male Model

Gym, tan + laundry salt spray year round. “Fun shoes.” Very annoying about everyone’s fashion choices, which is saying something because I’m a fashion blogger.

 

 

Kamil
30
Monroe, NY
Social Media Participant (UH WHAT?! You have a successful career in real estate per your ABC bio. Why did production list you that way?!)

Meet him halfway, then asks her to do 60/40. Nuh uh buddy.

 

Leo
31
Studio City, CA
Stuntman

Messy man bun that resembles my hair on a Monday, wants to let his hair down.

 

Lincoln
26
Los Angeles, CA
Account Sales Executive

From Nigeria, such a cute accent, rooftop workout. Eat cake because it was his birthday when they met on ATFR.

 

Mike
27
Cincinnati, OH
Sports Analyst

Cardboard cutout because Arie should she her as happy as she is tonight.

 

Nick
27
Orlando, FL
Attorney

Not a racecar driver, usually good at opening statements but not tonight.

 

Rickey
27
San Diego, CA
IT Consultant

“All the adjectives.”

 

Ryan
26
Manhattan Beach, CA
Banjoist

“Where’s the banjo?” Purple + gold printed velvet jacket.

 

Trent
28
Naples, FL
Realtor

Shows up in a hearse. “When I heard you were the Bachelorette, I LITERALLY died. But then you brought me back to life.”

 

Wills
29
Los Angeles, CA
Graphic Designer

Closet nerd.

 

We’re here in Sin City to take some risks. We have some scene setting shots of Becca looking cute in front of things + the guys shout “BECCA!” as they walk into their hotel. I hate this essential filler moment. We know her name, guys! She’s not even there to hear y’all be obnoxious. They’re staying at the Aria Sky Suites and holy cow this view. But the better view is in the loft of their suite because Becca’s their. They’re poppin’ bottles, checking out the suite + toasting to “taking a gamble.” She’ll be back tomorrow for a date!

Colton’s betting that two-on-ones start today. Hmm. Prompted? There’s a knock at the door + Chris grabs the date card. It’s a one-on-one for Colton that reads “Let’s ride off into the sunset.” I swear this man’s smile is about to explode right off his face you can even see the air pockets between his teeth + his cheeks. That’s how big. He says the whole Tia thing is behind him (not that I trust this dude at. all.). He says the hardest conversation they’ll have to have is about his personal relationships as they zoom in on a sign that says “Virgin River.” What is with the virginity exploitation of contestants, ABC? Becca meets him out in the desert so they can “get over the humps of their last relationships” + ride camels. They keep trying to hold hands but Becca’s camel keeps pulling away from Colton’s. Smart camel can tell this dude’s a slimeball. Or her camel doesn’t like his camel. Either way, it’s entertaining.

Back in the sky suite, David + Connor are talking about how surprisingly stressful rose ceremonies are + I’m over here like “DUH!” I swear so many of these guys have never been told “no” in their lives by a woman. Boy try living in my shoes + being the girl the guys don’t want to date. My entire life is a rose ceremony! Oh, Jerky Jordy is here + David asks him to share what receiving the last rose feels like. Jerky Jordy says the order of the roses doesn’t matter. Too bad we all have the receipts of him being butthurt last week that he got the last one. Boy, bye.

On the one-on-one, Becca + Colton are in a hot tub in the dessert which sounds miserable. He says the Tia situation was hard because all he wanted to talk about them. He was so happy at how the situation played out + how they got through it. He wants this to be great for her + she says that this is the most relaxed she’s ever been as they make out + she is so smitten with this big lying lying lie face…

Part two of their date takes place at a restaurant called Sage + they talk about how much fun they had on their dates. So Becca asks about his past relationships. He tells her about one after college + about a year ago. He said “I love you” to her very early + he never heard it back. Hmmm I wonder if he’s talking about Olympic gold medaling gymnast Aly Raisman… They did date. He said that was the only time he was in love. He says she broke up with him out of the blue so love has confusion + pain associated with it. He doesn’t use “love” or “falling in love” lightly. So they makeout.

In the suite, a date card arrives + Chris hopes he’s on it. It’s not often someone is hoping for a group date. This date is for Wills, Garrett, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason + Chris that reads “I’m looking for my Mr. Las Vegas.”Uh, is that a thing? Well regardless, that leaves a two on one for David + Jerky Jordy. Will it be as memorable as Ashley I + Kelsey’s on Chris Soules’ season or Taylor + Corinne’s on Nick Viall’s season? We’ll see. Neither think the other is compatible with Becca + Jerky Jordy says you could crumple David up + throw him away. Where are these elementary insults coming from?!

Back on the one-on-one Colton tells Becca she makes it easier for him to take his walls down which she’s glad to hear so she offers him the date rose. With him, she feels like “it’s our story.” The board a BigBus and drive down the Strip. One of the big marquises says “KISS HER!” The guys see it from their room + start embarrassingly looking for them down on the street. As if they could make them out.

For the group date, the guys hop into a Hummer limo (those still exist?!), they pull up to a majestic estate behind elaborate white + gold gates + Becca meets them for the perfect Vegas experience with none other than Wayne Newton. Oh. Now I get the Mr. Las Vegas thing. He shows them around the estate, introduces them to his wife + sings to her. Their task is to write Becca a song + I’m trying to figure out if this gives Chris an edge or not since he already had a one-on-one song writing date.

David, Colton + Jerky Jordy are talking about the two-on-one tomorrow. David asks if Jerky Jordy will be wearing the golden underpants + Jordan tells him he’s going in focused + doesn’t care what David will be wearing under his pants. In his ITM, Jerky Jordy says “David’s head is in my underpants.” Well, uhm, okay then sir.

The group date bunch is spread out across the estate working on their song. Becca + Wayne go up to Chris first to check in to see where he’s at with his song. Then Leo sings to a horse who walks away. Lincoln + Wills branch out from just English. Garrett sings about their bobsled + that it’s a wonder they’re not dead. Wow. Connor’s sheet blew into the pond. Wayne says they’ll be performing their songs + a rack of tuxes from THE BLK TUX rolls in for them to suit up in. Can we please note that Connor, Wills + Lincoln are the only ones whose ties aren’t tied? John’s up first + he’s excited that his shower practice might pay off. He hops all around the stage + isn’t particularly great but he’s such a sweet guy that isn’t getting enough screen time + he’s just owning it anyway. Garrett’s next, followed by Lincoln, Connor, Wills, Jason, Blake + Leo. They all seem to be sharing bits of their dates + while they’re all terrible, Becca’s appreciating the effort. Chris is up now + is nailing it. Thirty-seven minutes in we bring up Arie in Chris’ song + he has the whole crowd on its feet. He definitely deserves a rose for this assuming he doesn’t blow it at the after party.

They head to T Mobile arena who’s sign is lit up to say “Hey Becca! Bring your guys in!” They walk in to some really good looking hors d’oeuvres that no one is going to enjoy because of the mics + I’m actually bummed. Becca + Garrett talk first about hw she wasn’t sure how the guys would feel about performing + he tells her he was a little nervous. She loves that they have so many memories that he remembers + he doesn’t forget about her.

The two-on-one date card comes for David + Jerky Jordy to “Meet me in the valley of fire.” Sounds like an old timey death match… David + Jerky Jordy are arguing about whether or not you can “win” a two on one date while Colton says they’re “rams with big ol’ horns” who are trying to see who can stay on the mountain longest but reminds them that if they act like this tomorrow, they’re both falling off.

Chris is running his mouth in his ITM about how great he is for her + how confident he is. He’s fine as taking the final time slot talking to Becca. Now Blake is talking to her + they go outside where he tells her that he’s really + truly falling inlove with her unlike Jean Blanc last week. It sends Becca over the moon, as it should. A man is being honest about his feelings + they’re positive?! Gosh I wonder what that’s like… Becca says in her ITM that she’s been falling in love with him since the beginning. The guys say they’ve been gone 35-40 minutes. I mean if a man I was falling for told me he was falling for me, I think it’d be a while before I came back to the group. Becca finally does return to the group + Chris didn’t take his time with her… It seems production may have wrapped her up. Her rose goes to Blake + Chris is shook. She’s feeling very nervous about tomorrow so she heads out. Chris is very upset that she didn’t care to make the time for him. “I’m going home this week so…” He says he might go home tonight. Okay, chill homeboy. He’s at the rose ceremony so he’s not leaving yet. But based on the preview, he has a meltdown. So we’ll see…

David + Jerky Jordy head out for their date + I don’t get Jerky Jordy’s khakis + woven belt. Who still wears that combo? They drive out to the desert, perfect place for at least one to be left after this date. Becca says she just wants to chill + hang out. Becca’s driving them around in a Jeep Wrangler + Jerky Jordy calls “shottie!” I guess that’s why we’re calling shotgun these days…. Jerky Jordy also calls her a snack which I find just as irritating as I do the word “moist” coming from him. They drive to a bed in the middle of the desert + it looks like Ashley I + Kelsey’s date. David gets time with Becca first + he says he’s feeling great about where they are. But “in the spirit of being honest,” he spends his time talking about Jerky Jordy. Apparently he’s always talking about the girls he wants to hook up with, including the girls at the hotel yesterday. David says Jerky Jordy think’s he’s settling with Becca which is triggering for her because apparently Lauren called her the safe choice for Arie. Well we all know that I disagree with that because I feel like Arie + Lauren don’t challenge each other but whatever. It’s Becca’s turn. Becca confronts him about all of this + he’s denying everything. He calls David a liar. She says she wants more than just to laugh with him. He says he is very loyal + knows how to love unconditionally because he’s watched his father love his mother who suffers from multiple mental illnesses for 28 years. As much as I wouldn’t wish mental illness on anyone, I truly hope he’s being honest because this is an icky thing to make up to gain points with someone. He comes from nothing but he will always fight for her. He says he’s willing to address the situation with David. Becca says he needs time away to think.

Jerky Jordy confronts David saying “You’ve been a little b*tch rat ass (beep beep beep) this whole time. Love is the greatest power on earth. Being me is my greatest power. Do you get that? Being you isn’t your greatest power. That’s why you’ve gotta talk about me.” I mean… I think it’s tacky to spend your time with the lead talking about another contestant, but Jerky Jordy’s been painted as the villain + we don’t like him. David brings up the 4,000 tinder matches + all the girls Jerky Jordy (I’m calling him JJ from now on) would rather date. I hope Becca heard all of this because JJ was so defensive while David just sat there. Becca is frustrated by the way the date unfolded + wants to hear from the guys what’s happening. Anyone think they’re both heading home? The guys are fighting above Becca + she’s so annoyed. So she asked if anyone said the word “settling.” David says JJ said it at some point it came up in conversation. Becca says that she feels like she feels like she’s back in sixth grade + that this has taken away from both relationships + walks off. I don’t blame her honestly. I’d have just ghosted them right there. Sixth-eighth grades were bad for me. I have no interest in going back ever so this would have been a deal breaker for me. Just have production drive them to the airport + mail their suitcases home. I like David but I am not here for this just like Becca isn’t. Becca returns + sends David home. Doesn’t even say goodbye, not that I blame her right now. She grabs the rose + she + JJ drive off for part two of the date. Production grabs David’s suitcase + everyone is shocked.

At dinner Becca wants to really get to know JJ over dinner. He asks her what a weekend looks like for her. She says it depends but Sunday she goes to church with her girlfriends + brunch. Saturdays she likes to lay in bed reading without a plan. JJ is very pro gym. He’s talking about his routine + her eyes kinda glaze over. To reinterest herself in conversation, she asks how realistic Zoolander is. He says that unfortunately it’s extremely accurate + shows her the million things he can do with his face. I’m bored. Next! He steels a kiss from her + she thinks he was going to whip out the gold underwear. She likes him but isn’t sure their relationship could progress further. He’s happy he’s a better man than David but it didn’t feel like that since they went home the same day. He doesn’t get what she didn’t like. Fireworks start, Becca’s watching alone + the guys see them thinking that’s a good sign for JJ until a producer grabs his suitcase, too, + everyone cheers.

With 30 minutes left of the episode, we’re stuck with a cocktail party. I like when we skip it + go straight to the rose ceremony. Becca grabs Chris first because she’s confused as to why he didn’t try to talk to her + why he was making comments that he didn’t want to be here. I mean, I’d be confused, too, girl! He tells her she owes him 50,000 kisses right now. Owes you? Boy, bye! She was surprised that he didn’t try to see her. He says that if he didn’t want to be here, he’d have left. She says he’s not giving 50/50 as a teammate. She tells him to think about whether he can be her teammate. He says he doesn’t need to think about it but she does. She’s getting frustrated so she leaves him. He’s really hurt but I mean, this is a result of your actions, bro. Becca + Wills are talking about being nerds when Chris comes over to try to steal Becca. Wills offers two minutes. He comes back + Chris doesn’t want to give her back. Wills is polite but firm because he deserves time with her, too. Becca tells Chris she’ll come find him + Chris is getting a little hostile toward Wills. Wills returns after his time with Becca + Chris tries to start a fight with him. Wills is very chill. Suddenly everyone is trying to talk at once + no one is happy that he got two turns tonight. I don’t blame them. Becca grabs Chris again as promised. He tells her he’s not running away + he’s sorry. She responds with a simple “Yeah.” That’s not good. Becca heads out to think about her decision tonight.

When we return from commercials, it’s finally time to see if Chris’ actions turned Becca’s heart away from him. If anyone should get a rose tonight, it’s Wills for being calm + respectful to both Becca and + Chris. We have roses for Garrett, Jason, Wills, Lincoln, Leo, Connor + Chris. Our friend John, winner of last week’s lumberjack competition, is left roseless + politely bids our Becca adieu. He wishes they had a stronger connection. Dude be glad you made it this long. I hardly date someone this long. You got to do it + take two vacations. You win, bro! The rest of the guys + Becca are headed to Richmond, VA since Virginia is for lovers. Until we reach the other coast….

xo.