Wednesday Wisdom | “I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I never would have stumbled across my strength.”
Okay ladies + gentlemen of the interwebs, I am back with a Wednesday Wisdom post! I know this tab of the blog (Life in General if you found it from LinkTree or my Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or Pinterest) has been very quiet the last few months. It’s just felt like one thing after another for a while which I know is the norm but it really required me to take a step back + focus on myself. It was so hard to keep myself motivated, let alone use that motivation to write something inspiring for others.
The last two weekends were self care weekends for me to kind of reset + refocus. Two weekends ago, I literally did almost nothing. I had a massage, had lunch with my mom, stopped by a friend’s birthday party + spent the rest of the weekend binge watching Gossip Girl for only the millionth time. I ended up having a killer migraine that Sunday + was down for the count so I’m glad I didn’t have anything I needed to do. Granted, I didn’t get to make my Sunday Super Target trip + meal prep but I was not getting off the couch. This past weekend I scheduled LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE MINUTE because I was avoiding sitting in my feelings about something. Granted, I don’t think you should ever ignore your feelings, but I also was choosing not to engage in something that I knew was going to hurt me because it’s hurt me before. Snapchat is evil sometimes, my friends!
The last few months have seen so much struggle. My mom had surgery, I’ve been challenged in new ways at work, I said goodbye to some friendships that I thought would last forever. But sometimes life is like that. In all of this I made a new friend that I’m closer with than people I’ve known for years. Who knew you could make a new friend at 27. I figured I had everyone I needed + the other people I didn’t would eventually weed themselves out. I know that sounds awful, but from what I’ve learned from older friends + coworkers is that as you get older, your circle shrinks. I think it’s because everything we do requires so much energy that we can’t maintain superficial friendships anymore. That doesn’t make us weak in the slightest, however. There’s a beautiful strength that comes in choosing yourself.
I’ve learned that my own happiness is one of the most important things I can give myself + you make yourself happy by choosing yourself. A college friend once told me that “you can’t be there for others 100% if you’re not 100% yourself” + that’s stuck with me for the last eight years. While I still have to be intentional about choosing myself, choosing what will make me happy long term, not just for the next 10 minutes, I’m getting better. It’s like emotional strength training. As important as it is to take care of ourselves physically, we also need to do so emotionally. You’ll be surprised how strong you’ll find you are. For example, this weekend I didn’t allow myself to engage in something this weekend that is typically harmless but this weekend, I knew engaging in this normal, millennial activity was going to hurt me. I had things that I really wanted to be present for this weekend so I had to push myself to stay focused on those activities, not what was happening on social media. My friends were great, letting me check in with them as I tested my strength. “It’s been 38 hours since I’ve done the thing.” My friends are kind + encouraging + most of them saw how much this upset me last time. Lord knows, I don’t need to cry like that again.
So hang in there as life pushes you. Just when I thought I haven’t had anymore in me, I’ve found I’m stronger than whatever is put in my way. Believe in yourself + what you can handle!
xo.
