The Bachelor | Arie’s Racing for Love
[SPOILERS] After several months of cooling of from the beaches of Sayulita, we’re returning to the Bachelor mansion for “the most important race of Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s life.” No longer Emily’s castoff, though of couse we have to go through an awkward recap of the Kissing Bandit making out with Emily all over the world. The poor guy loved her + she broke him. We are painfully reminded that he flew to Charlotte to win her back + gave her his journal but she didn’t read it. So he channeled his pain into his racing. But of course that didn’t help. So he settled into a lucrative career in real estate. Shawn + Catherine Lowe show up with their little Samuel as his mentors prior to meeting the 29 ladies who will race for his heart. Next we cut to his promo shoot and dang he looks good. I am so here for that navy suiting that’s in lately. But how he packed in a carry on to be ready for this? No one buys that. You’re the lead. Your outfits are being provided. It’s time to meet the ladies. 3…2…1….
Name Age Hometown Occupation Notes
Chelsea 29 Portland, ME Real Estate Exec Arie refers to her as interesting.
Caroline 26 Ft. Lauderdale Realtor Hopes they’ll be “off the market”
Maquel 23 Orem, UT Photographer Showed up in the race car
Nysha 30 Anderson, SC Nurse
Tia 26 Weiner, AR Physical Therapist Gives Arie a small wiener/Raven’s friend
Kendall 26 Los Angeles Creative Director Arie whispers that she’s “so nervous” as she walked into the house.
Bekah n/a Los Angeles Nanny ’65 Mustang
Marik 27 Salt Lake City Restaurant Owner
Krystal 29 San Diego Online Fitness Coach Does centering exercise with Arie for her enterance
Sienne 27 Newport Beach Commercial Real Estate Elephant cufflinks
Bibiana 30 Miami Beach Executive Assistant
Bri 25 Portland, OR Sports Reporter Softball
Jenny 25 Chicago Graphic Designer
Brittane 27 Los Angeles Marketing Manager “Nice Butt” bumper sticker
Jacqueline 26 New York Research Coordinator
Valerie 25 Nashville Server
Jenna 28 Raleigh Social Media Manager Wants someone to take over the world with
Jessica 26 Santa Monica TV host Gives Arie gratitude rock/father met Arie before he died
Olivia 23 Chicago Marketing Associate
Becca K. 27 Minneapolis Publicist Has Arie get down on one knee
Lauren S. 31 Dallas Social Media Manager
Lauren J. 33 New Roads, LA Recent Master’s Grad Gives Arie Mardi Gras beads
Lauren B. 25 Dallas Tech Salesperson
Lauren G. 26 Los Angeles Executive Recruiter
Ashley 25 West Palm Beach Real Estate Agent Checkered flag
Brittany T. 30 Austin Tech Recruiter Tried to speak Dutch/car race/first kiss
Amber 29 Denver Business Owner “I’ve seen a lot of d*cks in my line of work + hope you aren’t one.”
Ali 27 Dallas Personal Stylist Smell check/pit stop
Annaliese 32 San Francisco Event Designer Kissing bandit
Above the line are the girls we get intro packages on. We interrupt meeting the girls to cut to the girls in their limos giggling but I can’t say I wouldn’t be nervously giggling. But Arie just got out of his limo so Chris Harrison can ask him why he’s not found his missing piece. Someone’s been talking to my family…. But limo one is here. “Oh my God! Here we go!” Everyone is forgetting their names. But there’s already so much cattiness going on in the house–what a surprise. But they keep saying “I hope no more girls come in.” Like are you new? Don’t you know there are an insane amount of girls the first night? Get with the program, ladies. I swear some of these girls were too young to be watching when Arie was on Emily’s season…. But I can’t really say anything. I’ve been watching since season one with Alex Michel. Chris reminds Arie of the first impression rose + then it’s off to the races for Arie’s heart.
From what I know from talking to former contestants + listening to podcasts, I know this night can go on the wee hours of the morning. Chelsea pulls him away first + I’ll tell you she’s not my front runner. She’s “mysterious.” But then Maquel comes up in her STUNNING blue dress + swoops in. But Chelsea can’t handle it + is back inside talking smack. Maquel is taking selfies with Arie. How freaking fun! Next we have Jacqueline who “therapizes” him though she’s a research coordinator. Do ya research, girl!
There are a few boring conversations + then Brittany T. steals him away for a kid’s race car race which ends with a kiss + we find out “his lips are like clouds.” Amber is very upset about this. Like really? Did you not know that many of these girls are going to kiss him. Before we cut to commercial, Chelsea’s talking about how she thinks she’s going to interrupt next. Someone brings him pizza. Someone gives him pineapple + tells him thats her safe word. Jenna rubs his feet. I am lost. Kissing Bandit Annaliese is back. She’s interviewing him about passion + the music changed. Maybe she’ll lasta while… Now we’ve got Becca with letters from her mom + I like her! Chris drops off the first impression rose. Nothing like a single flower to strike fear into 29 women. “Dun dun dun.” –Becca.
Then Chelsea swoops in for a sneak attack make out session. Ew. She returns to the group + tells the women she interrupted for extra time. Is production going to make her our villian? Only time will tell. Then a girl gives him a framed photo she drew of him looking like James Dean. He and Bekah talk sitting in the back of the mustang + she asks for three things that make him excited to be alive. He lists excitement, adrenaline + pizza. She loves the mountains, that feeling when you like someone but don’t know if you like them back + sitting in the back of a ’65 Mustang. She’s so pretty but totally has the baby face like me. Chelsea is sure she’s getting the rose + now I’m anxious because I want to know who gets it. Arie picks it up + walks over to Chelsea. Mom just yelled at me for screaming “NOOOOOOOO!” I’m all for empowering women but she’s not my girl.
Mom’s chosen Chelsea, 26 year old realtor from Ft. Lauderdale while I’ve chosen Becca K, 27 year old publicist from Minneapolis. I mean she got him down on one knee! Lets see what happens with this rose ceremony…My girl Becca gets a rose and so does Caroline so we’re safe for the next episode. We say goodbye to Bri, Brittane J., Jessica, Olivia, Nysha, Lauren J., Amber + Ali. Anyone else think there were WAY. TOO. MANY. Laurens? Four out of 29 is a little excessive. Don’t know a name? Guess “Lauren.” You have a 13.7% chance of being correct. Sounds like when I was a teacher + had more students named Jack than I’d met in my entire life. Wow.
Who are your front runners? Comment + let me know! I can’t wait to see where this season goes. But we do know they’re going to Florence + I’m very jealous.
xo.
