Bachelor in Paradise | We finally get a rose ceremony!

[SPOILERS] We’re back in paradise again! I’m feeling so much anxiety over this Rose Ceremony. So let’s get to it, after what I’ve decide is my favorite theme yet simply because of Chris Harrison running on the beach in his suit. I’m writing this as I watch so this will be completely different than last week’s but it definitely flows better…well as much as it can when editing keeps us on our toes.

We open to everyone in turmoil as to what’s going to happen at this RC + a new cast member enters: Adam from Rachel’s season. Don’t remember him? He had the doll Little Adam + went home before hometowns. We didn’t get to see a lot of their relationship so us viewers didn’t know why he was still there. I’m excited to see who he is. He comes in, introduces himself to the women while the men go wild + heads to the man powwow to find out “Who’s vibing with who?”to which I scream at the TV “NO ONE” + quickly backpedal because I’m so here for Taylor + Derek. We get to see him talk to Kristina + Raven. I was genuinely hoping he’d pick Kristina the next day for his date as she + Dean are so up in the air. But he chose Raven. What a wrench in her vibes with Ben Z + Their dog chemistry.

Kristina attempts to talk to Dean, who’s been shown snoring opposite the morning’s conversations. When Kristina comes over, Dean sleepily asks if they need to talk without even lifting his head. Not cool, bro. In response to Kristina’s “Yes,” he says he needs to “shower + look pretty.” While I understand, being told we need to talk invokes an intense seriousness that there’s no need to get dressed up. But Dean walked away. “Okay. Good Chat.”

Of course Ben Z is NOT pleased that Raven agrees to go on this date but Raven can do what she wants. She puts on this bomb red cold shoulder dress + off they go up the stairs for margaritas + dancing in the street. On the date, Adam asks Raven what’s been going on in paradise for her. She shares her first day connection with Ben Z, the good guy, + her date with Robby that went “exactly-the-way-I-thought-it-would.” In her “In the Moment” interview (ITM), she shares that she’s still feeling Adam out but she still is thinking of Ben Z back at the resort…who’s running + working out on the beach.

“I think it’s going to take three years to get through the first rose ceremony.” –Alexis

The first was canceled due to the shutdown + this second one is being threatened by a tsunami. As I watch, I’m so nervous because I’m not certain who’s staying + who’s going. I’m hoping Vinny’s rose shirt is lucky. Jack Stone is trying to get Alexis’ rose but this is the first I’m getting to see them together so I’m very concerned. But now Raven + Ben Z are discussing what she might do + she doesn’t know. But then Adam steals her to dance. But he’s wearing a short-sleeved button down that I cannot get behind. But Raven’s feeling it because as I wrote this last sentence, they started kissing. Now we cut to Robby + Amanda. Apparently Robby + Josh (Amanda’s ex) are friends. Robby want’s a kiss + poor Amanda is not ready. It definitely got awkward. But he is rocking a Tiffany blue bow tie on a black button down that I definitely like. But now she’s talking to Nick + I’m honestly unsure what’s going on here. Production, did you tell everyone to talk to “random” people to throw us off? No, I know editing kept things from us. I feel like I’m watching a tennis match. I’m also not a fan of starting an episode with a rose ceremony.

And some dramatic rain shots + a Taylor/Derek makeout sesh with an audience. But Jasmine is so sweetly pro Taylor’s happiness + I’m here for it. Jasmine + Matt are now checking in. They’re so cute. But Jasmine just said love + his eyes glazed over. Next up is Iggy + Lacey. Iggy’s blessing drinks in Hebrew. He wants Lacey’s rose, but I’m not buying that he wants it for any reason beyond to last beyond this ceremony. Now Lacey + Diggy are talking + kissing + here I am like “HOW?!” (Normally I watch with DVR but I don’t have it now.) Amanda just dropped the bomb to Alex that she’s not giving him his rose. So now he’s in “extreme thirsty” (Jasmine’s words) mode looking for a rose. He’s super attractive. Dean grabs Kristina… took him a while to get cute. Dean is ready to address the awkwardness that has happened since they’ve returned. He tells her they should slow down while she still has the “power” of the rose which I can respect, but it’s sad. Alex swoops in to comfort her + make a play for her rose.

Aaaaaand we’re back after the “special report.” **Inert eye roll emoji here**

“I think this rose ceremony has been a long time coming.” — Ben Z

Us, too, Ben. Us, Too. These are the moments we’ve been waiting for.

Roses:

Taylor/Derek
Jasmine/Matt
Raven/Adam (BUMMER! For me. I was pulling for Ben!)
Alexis/Jack Stone
Lacey/Diggy
Danielle M/Ben Z (Okay girl! I see you!)
Kristina/Dean
Amanda/Robby

This means we’re saying goodbye to Iggy, Nick, Vinny + Alex. I love Vinny so I’m totally bummed. Poor Vinny can’t fight this child safety lock + editing aired it.

It’s the next day. Kristina is looking forward to spending time with Dean, Ben Z is grateful for Danielle M’s rose then Hurricane DLo descends the stairs. I love her but if she walked in while I was in paradise, I would NOT be getting a rose. Of course she has a date card. Kristina’s feeling threatened because DLo is interested in Dean + Ben Z. She pulls Ben Z first. Ben’s telling her who’s coupled up. Then Dean gets pulled. Of course she wants to know his expectations. What it must be like to be a DLo type that every guy goes gaga over… But it looks like she’s made a decision. She invites Dean + I’m pretty sure Kristina is about to cry. I feel for her. She just gave Dean her rose. He would have been gone if she hadn’t tried to maintain the relationship. While I didn’t necessarily hope they got together, I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.

Jasmine + Alexis have a fake fight in the pool. I love their friendship. Now their razzing Derek + Taylor in fake British accents. That’s definitely what some of my besties + I would do if we were there. Dean comes to check in with Kristina which he should have done before he accepted DLo’s date. But they show up on their date where they find one ATV. Of course they make her look like a terrible driver.

Danielle M is mad at Dean for Kristina which I love. I feel like this is an Ashley I/Jared moment where she has to watch the guy she likes be with someone else. There’s some good conversation between Dean + DLo but I’m not feeling it. Aaand they’re kissing. I’m so upset. I love Dean + he’s really letting me down. I’m not ready to see Kristina when Dean comes back + she finds out that they made out. I feel bad because I love DLo but knowing what it feels like to be in Kristina’s position a little too well makes it hard to be on her side right now. I wouldn’t know how to relate to DLo + being the one every guy wants. I’ve always been average, not that I think Kristina could be described as average… Robby’s checking in with her which is so freaking sweet. Shout out to these guys for being there for her.

Okay they’re finally back. I’m not here for DLo’s outfit. A tied up white tee + destroyed jeans cut off into Bermudas. Dean goes to talk to Kristina + DLo pulls him away for a shot. After the shot, Kristina, Danielle M + Amanda walk upstairs because clearly she needs space. Dean comes upstairs for a minute but then awkwardly decides to walk away. Kristina goes to talk with him + Kristina is so nervous. He says they had “a little peck,” which is totally untrue. I saw tongue. He said he missed her but I’m not buying it. They pinky swear to be open + honest but I have a feeling this is the beginning of the end for them.

S’mores! Who organized this? Kristina thinks they’re going in the right direction but then Dean brings out a half birthday cake for DLo. What the heck Dean? No one thinks this is great. Alexis has some choice words in her ITM. Kristina is shitting down. Dean walks off + DLo follows. Kristina walks away angry crying. I’m legitimately crying for her. Alexis lays with her as she cries. Alexis is the best girl friend.