The Bachelor | Fighting, Dogs + Bibiana
[SPOILERS] We’re back for episode three. I’m a little late to the program because I had to run an errand. Now that I’m back + set up, I’m only 15 minutes late. This episode was one “#Yikes moment after another. I was in a constant state of looking like the all too familiar Chrissy Teigan gif.
Let’s take a moment to remember who’s still here:
Name Age Hometown Occupation Notes
Chelsea 29 Portland, ME Real Estate Exec Arie refers to her as interesting.
Caroline 26 Ft. Lauderdale Realtor Hopes they’ll be “off the market”
Maquel 23 Orem, UT Photographer Showed up in the race car
Nysha 30 Anderson, SC Nurse
Tia 26 Weiner, AR Physical Therapist Gives Arie a small wiener/Raven’s friend
Kendall 26 Los Angeles Creative Director Arie whispers that she’s “so nervous” as she walked into the house.
Bekah n/a Los Angeles Nanny ’65 Mustang
Marik 27 Salt Lake City Restaurant Owner
Krystal 29 San Diego Online Fitness Coach Does centering exercise with Arie for her entrance
Sienne 27 Newport Beach Commercial Real Estate Elephant cufflinks
Bibiana 30 Miami Beach Executive Assistant
Bri 25 Portland, OR Sports Reporter Softball
Jenny 25 Chicago Graphic Designer
Brittane 27 Los Angeles Marketing Manager “Nice Butt” bumper sticker
Jacqueline 26 New York Research Coordinator
Valerie 25 Nashville Server
Jenna 28 Raleigh Social Media Manager Wants someone to take over the world with
Jessica 26 Santa Monica TV host Gives Arie gratitude rock/father met Arie before he died
Olivia 23 Chicago Marketing Associate
Becca K. 27 Minneapolis Publicist Has Arie get down on one knee
Lauren S. 31 Dallas Social Media Manager x
Lauren J. 33 New Roads, LA Recent Master’s Grad Gives Arie Mardi Gras beads
Lauren B. 25 Dallas Tech Salesperson
Lauren G. 26 Los Angeles Executive Recruiter
Ashley 25 West Palm Beach Real Estate Agent Checkered flag
Brittany T. 30 Austin Tech Recruiter Tried to speak Dutch/car race/first kiss
Amber 29 Denver Business Owner “I’ve seen a lot of d*cks in my line of work + hope you aren’t one.”
Ali 27 Dallas Personal Stylist Smell check/pit stop
Annaliese 32 San Francisco Event Designer Kissing bandit
We open with the juxtaposition of Bibiana vs. Krystal. Krystal refuses to back down from confrontation but I just want to go up to her, shake her + ask her to freaking chill. Chris Harrison stops by to let them know there will be two group dates + one romantic one-on-one. Bekah, Lauren B., Maquel, Tia, Marik, Jacqueline, Bibiana + Krystal head out to their group date at a boxing ring. Two women from “GLOW” are their to train them + rip Bibiana + Tia to shreds simply by picking on them + I’m not here for it. Bekah is all in confused that no one has watched WWE. Sorry, I haven’t not my thing. Arie talks Tia back into the ring + she + Bibiana goof off for the rest of practice time.
It’s time for fight night. Arie is first up against Kenny from Rachel’s season who is just slamming Arie like his life depends on it but somehow Arie ends up winning by a little production magic. Now it’s time for the girls to face off. Here are the bouts:
Bekah (Sex Kitten) vs. Maquel (Lunch Lady) –> Maquel
Krystal (“Cougar”) vs. Jacqueline (Prom Queen) –> Krystal
Marik (Gold Digger) vs. Lauren B. (Stripper) –> Not sure who won this one TBH.
Tia (Southern Belle) vs Bibiana (Bridezilla) –> Tia
Overall winner: TIA!!!!!!
Now they’re at some campground type place with a few Airstreams (think McDreamy’s trailer) they can check out. Krystal nabs him first. What a surprise. Bibiana isn’t pleased and I don’t blame her. Krystal asks him if he wants her to sit back or be more aggressive. He tells her he wants her to be her which she takes as permission. He is really into her, kissing her with his hands in her hair. Like dang. Lauren B. cuts in + production doesn’t find their conversation that interesting so we don’t hear anything. Next it’s Bibiana’s turn + she uses her time to let Arie know she’s a different kind of woman than Krystal is so she doesn’t appreciate her disrespect to others’ time. Arie definitely seems annoyed which kind of bothered me. Like yes, you only get so much time on group dates BUT if your girl comes to you with a concern, YOU NEED TO BE HEARING THEM. If been the recipient of the look Arie gave Bibiana when I’ve shared something that made me uncomfortable with a man + let me tell you, it’s not my favorite thing to have my concerns go unheard. Tia + Bekah each get one-on-one time next each in one of the Airstreams. Tia shares how she doesn’t like to feel weak + Bekah talks about her last relationship that lasted “two + a half to three years.” They broke up because they were going different directions. Like girl you are 22. Were the different directions two different colleges? I really, genuinely want to know. I find Bekah VERY confusing because we are such polar opposites. HOW ARE YOU THAT CHILL?! Tia + Arie share a sweet kiss while Bekah + Arie are hot and heavy. As in Bekah is ON HIS LAP. This little Tinkerbell is just getting it in an Airstream with the door WIDE OPEN. Girl….
We quickly cut back to the mansion where Lauren S. gets the one-on-one card that says “You had me at merlot.”
Everyone else has gotten time with Arie apparently but none of it seems to have been interesting enough to show us. That said it’s time for the group date rose. Krystal’s smug mug thinks she’s getting this rose but it comes as no surprise to me that Bekah gets the rose. I mean the girl was on his LAP. Bekah says she’s feeling very blessed getting the rose + Krystal is smiling + nodding being super fake but we already knew that about her.
The next day Krystal is talking to Marikh about how she knows they want to be together + that this is just a process they need to go through. Gag me. Lauren S. packs a suitcase + Arie whisks her away to Napa and gosh this is co cute! They head to Hall Winery + I finally get a look at Lauren’s outfit. She’s wearing a really pretty, red ruffled dress with printed sneakers. I wouldn’t have paired those two together for myself but she’s so confident it doesn’t matter. They’re wandering the vineyard looking so cute + stopping to drink wine. In their “interviewing” time, they’re talking about sleeping. Arie says that over the last few years, he’s just started going to bed earlier + wearing cardigans. Well I already do that. So I must be ancient. Thanks, Arie.
After the commercial, Arie + Lauren sit down to “dinner interview time.” Lauren is having some serious word vomit to the point that ARIE IS EATING ON THE DATE. If you watch, they don’t typically eat because the mics pick up chewing.
Ashley, Becca K, Brittany, Jenna, Caroline, Chelsea + Caroline will be going on the group date “Love can be ruff…” Aaaand Annalise is freaking out. But we’ll get back to that.
We cut back to the date and Arie can’t give her the rose. It’s his first hard goodbye + I feel bad that I’m not moved by this goodbye. This date was very painful to watch. For whatever reason, Lauren couldn’t be herself tonight + that I felt bad about. Production comes in + takes her suitcase + the women are shocked. Krystal is so upity as Caroline is very upset that her friend left. Do I expect Krystal to get a rose tonight? Yes. Do I wish she wouldn’t? Yes. I’m very irritated.
But now it’s doggy date time! Annaliese is a little freaked out out because she doesn’t like big dogs but Arie assures them that this is a chill date. DynamoDogs are here + the girls will be performing with them on stage. Annalise is panicking because she was bitten on the face. Back at the house Bibiana + Tia are butthurt that they aren’t playing with dogs today + I hear them. Bibiana decides to pray. She thanks God for the beautiful day, her friend Tia + hopes one of the girls get bit. I wish I could say I didn’t laugh. I did.
Back on the date, it’s show time! It’s off to a rough start with Chelsea, Ashley + Jenna not getting anywhere with their dogs. Annaliese gets stuck as pooper scooper girl. Awks. The second part of their date takes place at an old bank. I love old banks! I had dinner in one last year + it was such a cool experience. Arie gets Chelsea alone first. I wish I could get a shot of Chelsea’s outfit because I think I have it. It doesn’t look quite like the high low romper I have but it does seem similar + it’s one of my favorite pieces. Arie + Caroline seem to have a sweet connection, they kiss + she tells him they call him “Pillow Lips.” Annaliese really wants to kiss him tonight + it seems she might be the last one to go. He seems tired + she doesn’t seem to know what to say. Chelsea comes back to interrupt just to kiss him. But I was wrong! It’s Becca’s turn! They’ve found a quiet, private place to lay down. He tells her he wanted her on this date because he missed her. Collective “awhhhhh” here. He also says she looked really good in her yoga pants. Get. It. Girl! It’s rose time! Please not Chelsea…. it’s Chelsea. Becca’s look could kill but thankfully she feels confident going into tomorrow’s rose ceremony.
Arie pulls up to cocktail party in the prettiest blue Mercedes. Let’s get this cocktail party started! Arie pulls Sienne first while Bibiana set something up special for him so they could stargaze together. But Lauren B. + Arie find it first. I’m devastated for Bibiana. But now he’s taking EVERYONE there. Ugh. For this moment in my head, Arie, you are the worst for this! Bekah slips in a passive aggressive joke with her time on the daybed. Really girl? Ugh that would not have gone over well for me if I pulled that joke. When it’s his time with Tia, he’s set up some hay bales + moonshine by the fire. Poor girl is “smitten.” Annaliese takes him up to the balcony + Arie senses her stress. She asks him to kiss her + he says he doesn’t think they’re there yet. Kendall grabs him. He talks to some other girls + Annaliese grabs him again + wants to know if there is a future for them + he tells her no. It’s hard to watch as he hugs her goodbye + walks her out. I know what it’s like to be the girl who’s scared + cries + isn’t the one with enough chemistry to make it work. My hope is that she does find love…
It’s rose ceremony time. Bekah + Chelsea already have roses going into tonight. I’d like to applaud Chelsea for giving women without roses time with Arie tonight. Lauren S. + Annaliese have gone home. Who’s next? There are roses for Caroline, Kendall, Ashley, Lauren (THE ONLY ONE LEFT!), Brittany, Becca, Sienne, Krystal, Tia, Maquel, Jenna, Jacqueline + Marikh. My girl Bibiana is going home + I’m heartbroken. This season’s Alexis out the door. I’m trying not to cry.
Next week’s preview promises more shock worthy moments including Bekah revealing her age to Arie. I wonder how he’ll take it… Until next week…
xo.
