Bachelor in Paradise | The End

[SPOILERS| It’s the last day of paradise. It’s time for the tough conversations to see if relationships can last outside paradise. If they don’t, they can leave. Otherwise they can stay for the rest of the day, have one more date + spend the night in a fantasy suite.

Taylor + Derek/Lacey + Daniel will for sure be going on dates.

So Jack Stone pulls Christen aside to tell her he wants to see what happens off the beach. He’s asking to leave with her. She pulls away + tells him that she’s not a couple with him. She feels every conversation is so “swirly” but they’re acquaintances. So Jack leaves… I tried to ask him out on twitter. No response yet, but he has replied to my tweets before so I’m hopeful. After their conversation, Christen walks off into the ocean + Jack boards an SUV to head to the airport. I respect Christen for staying true to herself but I’m so bummed to see Jack so sad. Give me a call! We can get married + eventually have kids….

Tickle Monster pulls Jasmine aside where they mutually decide to leave as friends. It was very sweet.

Adam steals his “fiance” Raven to talk in “the treehouse.” Adam wants to see where things go from here. But what will Raven say??? She’s understandably nervous because of the way things unfolded with Nick but ultimately decides to “keep going + see where it goes.” Date for them, check.

Dean + DLo head off together to one of the daybeds. Dean tells her that she’s the only one he was excited to meet. But he realized after Kristina went home that he loves her + he owes it to her to walk away from DLo. So he tells DLo he can’t leave with her. She is very understanding that he has feelings for someone else, but it definitely seems she’s trying not to cry. I would be, too. I know they did like each other. In his ITM, he’s crying + he’s finally realized how wonderful she is. But is it too late? We’ll find out on the after show. I don’t want him to hate himself, but he does. He says Kristina deserves better. I think he’s a good man who made some mistakes. She deserves better than the way he treated her before she left. Here’s hoping.

Now let’s unpack Dominique + Diggy. He says they’ve been having fun but after thinking about it, he think it’s best that they leave separately. So then he tells Jaimi that he wants to leave with her. Unfortunately she wants to leave “on a good note” as friends. That’s an honest to goodness bummer. I’m three degrees of separation from him, my work friend’s brother is one of his bffs, so I feel connected to him.

Onto Robby + Amanda. He wants little Robbys running around + feels there are good things on the horizon. I have high hopes for them because Amanda posted a picture of them today. But Amanda’s getting choked up + nervous because she’s remembering last year with Josh. She doesn’t see this working out. What? This is so confusing. She ask him if he really sees a future with her + she does. He wants to leave with her so much. Wait? I heard they did leave together! What the heck?! So off Robby goes. But Amanda has to make the best decision for her + her girls.

So all we have left are Taylor + Derek, Lacey + Daniel, Raven + Adam. Not the couples I’d have pictured at the beginning. Chris sends them to get ready + I’m so excited for what happens. Raven is blow drying her hair + I’m over here like “it’s too humid for that!” How is Daniel wearing a long sleeved shirt?! Derek, too! So they go up to the hotel part of the resort.

Lacey + Daniel get the cutest room! I’m living for this white couch with the pink, purple + orange pillows. But she tells him she’s falling for him + he tells him how great that feels. She asks if he wants to leave together. He doesn’t want to date anyone else so they should be in a relationship! Oh I hope they work! They’re so cute! So he offers her the Fantasy Suite card + she accepts! Yes please! Lacey’s ready to say yes to a proposal but I think it’s a bit soon but it’s her life.

Taylor + Derek are on their own couch with purple, pink + green pillows. Taylor tells him that she wants more experiences with him before she’ll be able to fall in love + Derek can’t wait to get to know her that way. Typical dude. But it does seem he respects sex’s importance to her.

Raven + Adam have a couch, too, with blue + gold pillows. Shoutout to whomever dressed these rooms. Adam seems super ready to move forward with Adam but it’s obvious that Raven is super nervous. She is happy he came + that they ended up together. She’s nervous about the fantasy suite, which I can totally understand. She feels like she might regret either choice. But we’re interrupted by a commercial + the in studio finale with Chris. Everyone who’s left paradise is in the house, less Corinne + DeMario. But then Corinne comes out. She’ll get to speak to DeMario “for the first time” tonight. DeMario seems to be such a stand up guy. Corinne said she wished that they could have reached out to each other, but DeMario made it seem that he had reached out to her… But they’re both in therapy which is very commendable. This feels very forced.  but they hug it out so that’s cute.

After ANOTHER commercial, we find that Wells is in the audience + now we’re getting a video montage. Can I find out if Raven stays with Adam please? But the Twins tell my Jack that he’s ruined their lives. We unwrap Jasmine + Christen’s feud. Jasmine is ready to fight but Christen is ready to move on. Now we get to hear from Dean. Kristina + DLo start to fight but Dean tells them that they shouldn’t be mad at each other, but at him. I’m glad he’s seeing the weight of his actions. AAAAnd cue another video montage. He never wanted to do either of them wrong + I genuinely believe that. It’s just rough because I’ve been in Kristina’s place. He unfollwed her on social media because it made him so sad, but I can only imagine how that felt for her. But Kristina is so mature. She’ll always love him the way I’ll always love someone who’s affected me so greatly. But then DLo shares that an hour later he called her + they had a relationship afterward. Kristina asked him if he’s still flip flopping + says enough is enough. I wish I was as strong as you because my heart is still calling for the man I love. He ends with an apology + I’m ending with tears in my eyes. Too many real life feelings were brought up for me in this segment. This is why I’m an entire bottle out of the bottle of Barefoot right now.

So now were’ going to talk about Amanda + Robby’s post-Paradise relationship. But she shares with us how sweet Robby was to us always having her avocado toast ready.But she didn’t think it was realistic. But afterward she felt she made the wrong choice. He asked her to be his girlfriend but apparently they’re already no longer together. Amanda said they didn’t talk unless it was convenient for him. The Twins made allegations that he was cheating which he denied but they remind him of Colorado. He swears he wasn’t making out with anyone so she believes him. She says they were looking for different things + he agrees. It seems the breakup was amicable + she can finally eat pizza again. I’m sad but I’m glad they’re okay.

Am I the only one who’s noticed that we don’t know if Raven has stayed with Adam or not?

But Lacey comes out in this bomb jumpsuit! She shares that she + Daniel did meet before, hooked up + became friends. But then when they were in the Fantasy Suite that he did not acutally share her feelings. So he comes out + says he said he needed to be realistic. So we cut to after the Fantasy Suite. So then we get to see what happened the next day. We can hear his conversation with the producer that he isn’t in love. He’s on the defensive. But DLo + Christen’s face. He says he invited her to Vancouver. He apparently came to NY + spent one hour with her but insisted Vinny spend the rest of the time with them. If he loved Lacey the way he loves Vinny, they’d be together. But they are “never, ever, ever getting back together.” –Lacey + Taylor Swift.

|Sidebar: I just opened my second bottle of wine on a work night + mom’s judging me. I’ve had a rough few weeks. If I want a second bottle of wine, I’ll have a second bottle of wine.|

Now we’re bringing out Adam + Raven together. BUT I STILL DON’T KNOW IF THEY SPENT THE FANTASY SUITE TOGETHER. Oh, she’s all but on his lap. NOW WE GET TO SEE THEM TOGETHER. Raven did choose to spend the night. Adam’s a morning person so that’s going to cause trouble. But this is the first good thing to happen in this weird night. But I have the cheesiest smile on my face. Raven’s meeting his family this weekend which will be the first family meeting…. JK Mr. + Mrs. Gates are here! How freaking awkward! Oh well. Ugh I hope they work!

Okay now it’s Taylor + Derek’s turn. We establish they’re in love + now we get to see the morning after. They’re so sweet together. She doesn’t want to leave + he says they’ll make it work! He came to Seattle with her for three weeks! He lives in Iowa. He tells us he gave her 15 bad dad jokes to get her to open up. He opened with “What’s up, kiddo?” Ew. But now he’s getting super sweet. Is he about to propose?! Will this be the proposal?! Oh shoot I hope so! Yes it is! He’s saying he’s nervous. Oh my God. He calls her his equal! Ugh goals! Oh my God. He knows she’s a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man. Stop. OMG. I’m crying and he’s about to get down. He’s down. She’s so happy! Oh gosh! Jasmine’s jumping. I’m crying! Neil Lane gave him a ring. She’s crying “Taylor Catherine Nolan. you make me the happiest man on this planet. will you marry me?” Shoot. I’m saying yes. Rose petals are falling. I’m not crying. You’re crying. No, I’m crying. But really everything makes me cry these days. I’m a bottle + a half in. It’s life. Will I regret in the morning? We’ll see!

Until then, we’re saying goodbye to Chris Harrison until January unless you watch “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” I don’t so I’ll see him occasionally on Twitter + Instagram. Until Arie is standing in front of the mansion,

xo.

P.S. I tweeted Jack again + he said “When and where”. If my heart can get over the man I gave it to May of last year, your girl is after a Bachelorette contestant