Bachelor in Paradise | The Canadian Eagle has Landed + Awkward Love Triangles
Aaand we’re back! I’m hoping for much less bullying tonight but my hopes aren’t high. Why did they make Christen eat shrimp in her theme segment? Daniel comes in with a rose to give + not long to decide who it’s going to. Lacey pulls him off first + he is back to his old self. He tells Lacey, who’s been waiting for him to come, that all he has is scraps
Daniel + Christen, experience without STDS.
Daniel + Jasmine, wants a girl who doesn’t want his rose but wants his ****
Aaaaaaand it’s raining again. But let’s get to this rose ceremony. In a surprise twist, Daniel + Lacey
Jack + Christen
And then Matt comes back to give a rose… Jasmine gets his rose + he tries to be nice to her but she’s not here for it. Bye Matt!
Derek + Taylor
Robby + Amanda
Diggy + Dominique
Adam + Raven (I just want to hug Sarah right now)
Dean + Kristina (Jesus! I did not expect this!) “Karma’s a bitch.” –Kristina
Ben Z + DLO
Sarah + Alexis are going home + I’m so sad!
Kristina wants to play truth or dare + it’s actually too difficult to watch let alone describe.
So now these guys are dressed like dressed as wrestlers come in to wake everyone up + give Daniel a date card. “Pick someone you have a fighting chance with.” Lacey was too ready for this but it seems he wants to talk to some other girls first. She looks like she’s been punched in the stomach. Daniel pulls Jasmine aside to see if she’d even be interested in having a date when she + Matt just broke up. Christen’s turn… + we’re awkwardly talking about “Canadian Bacon.” Now it’s Kristina’s time but she was kind enough to tell him that Lacey’s been waiting for him. He thinks he needs to flip a coin between Lacey + Kristina but ends up picking Lacey for a date. She lets him know that if it’s a wrestling date, she’s going to kick is ass. I’m here for this. I love Daniel but I could never date him so I enjoy watching him date others.
Kristina + Dean woke up together + she feels good about everything. Jonathan, the Tickle Monster, from Rachel’s season is here with a date card. Another instence of the bros broing out over the new guy. On speed dating with Jonathan, he has a really cute conversation with Christen that ends in a kiss. He asks Christen on a date who says yes even though Jack gave her his rose. But Christen has the power this week so why the heck not?!
Lacey + Daniel are getting a Mexican wrestling date. Why are there such weird dates on Bachelor in Paradise? Daniel wrestles a Mexican wrestler + wins a belt that fits around both Lacey + Daniel.
Back at the resort, Dean’s being weird again. As difficult as it is, I wish Kristina should try to find someone else. But I can’t really say that because I’ve fallen victim to my feelings, too. He knows he’ll regret losing Kristina but he can’t let go of DLo.
Christen + Jonathan are on one of those “dinner” dates but we all know they don’t eat dates. Well they’ve eaten a bit. It’s actually bizarre. She’s trying to toss scallops in his mouth. It seems Christen’s rose will go to to Jonathan.
Aaaand Wells is back with his damn puppets.
Lacey + Daniel seem to be vibing as they’re discussing massages. Mid-makeuout, Jasmine walks in. Kiss blocking. Poor Lacey can’t win. Come on girl.
Jack steals Christen immediately when she returns from her date. She tells Jack her date had great moments but there weren’t fireworks. Given the choice I think I’d pick Jack.Now Jack kisses her! Jack “Mr. Steal Yo Girl” Stone. Now she’s uncertain who her rose will go to. The suspense.
Dean + DLo are all over each other in the pool. So disrespectful after he + Kristina spent the night together. It’s so sweet that Robby’s being there for her. It’s so confusing. But when someone wants to be THAT obvious that they’re interested in someone else when they know you can see it but they still can’t be 100% honest with you… Why does this feel like my life? But Kristina just said that the orphanage in Russia was better than paradise so we all know what that means. Honestly my heart is so broken for her.
This week on stage we have Amanda, Alexis, Raven + Wells. We’re recapping + of course we have to seriously recap the bullying of Christen. So freaking sad. But Wells, who had one job, turns so red as we see Wells kiss Danielle. Wells says he didn’t want her to leave without romance. But it seemed legit. But Wells is a bad boy so you can’t expect much else.We’re also reminded that Sarah was into Adam over the break but Raven likes him, too. Sucks to be BFF.
With Jasmine now on stage, we’re recapping her experience thus far. Like me, Jasmine needs honest communication. So she was shocked when he left. But of course he’s here. So let’s hear it straight finally. Hopefully. You can’t trust men to be honest… Shout out to Jasmine for being honest + strong. Chris reminds Matt “When you get out of the craziness, don’t drive back in.” I need to remind myself that… There is so much I need to take away from this episode!
It’s now time to here from Corinne but like I didn’t recap DeMario, I won’t recap her. Let her speak for herself.
xo.
