Art as Therapy, Art as Stress
If I were any good at art, I probably would have been an art therapist. I’ve always appreciated art even though my abilities top out at elementary. When I graduated from crayons, colored pencils + markers for coloring pages + free form stick figure drawings, I was nothing but frustrated. But keep me working with these early mediums + I’m happy as clam. I couldn’t even hang with the weird sketch pencils we needed for Art I in high school + don’t even get me started with the fact that I took Pottery I instead of a study hall senior year. Sure it was nice that I could smash something with how frustrating that year was, but my projects were never any good + trying to make up three in two weeks after my surgery so I didn’t take an incomplete for the quarter was a nightmare. #nothanks I’d show you but a) I’m not at home to take a picture of them + b) you’d just laugh. I know I do!
My favorite part of my summer semester in Florence, Italy, was my museum pass. I’d spend hours of free time browsing the galleries at the Uffizi (Italian for “offices” + home to works of Botticelli, Giotto, Cimabue, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and Raffaello) + the Accademia (home of the David statue. Don’t be fooled by the ones in the Piazza della Signoria or in the Piazzale Michelangelo. The one in the Accademia where “No foto! No foto!” is constantly being screamed is the real deal.). I was studying drawing because what else would you study there besides pasta? While my artwork did improve over the summer, I still wouldn’t consider it “great” + so much of that summer was I stressed trying to “make art.” Can’t i just tell you why I love Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” for an A? No? Okay, well here’s a poorly drawn church for you.
Fast forward to last August. I was at a restaurant across the street from work for our summer event, formerly a picnic. One of the activities we could choose to participate in was what I call “boozy painting.” One of the popular businesses that sponsor these boozy painting sessions is Bottle + Bottega. They have studios where you can book a BYOB paint session + they guide you through an “easy” painting of your choice, or they can come to your event + do the same. I’ve put easy in quotes because for a Type A perfectionist, this is anything but easy. Last summer we had a few options to choose from + I chose the Chicago skyline at sunset. Sounds easy enough. It was much more structured than the free form flowers or abstract circles. Spoiler alert, it was not easy + mine came out looking like the skyline was on fire. Yikes. I swore that this year I’d do the bowling challenge, but did I? keep reading to find out.
In November I fell victim to complications from a routine outpatient tonsillectomy which resulted in four days in the pediatric wing of our local hospital. The peds wing wasn’t bad, I actually was able to sleep in the hospital. That never happens. Luckily I’d already bought myself a copy of “Sh*t Happens,” an adult swear word coloring book. I couldn’t shout or even whisper what I was feeling, but I could color it! And as a surprise, one of my college friends, Tory, sent me two snarky + funny but not swear-y coloring books for the days ahead. Luckily I’d invested in crayons, markers + colored pencils for the occasion. You’re welcome, Crayola! Let me tell you, I never had more fun “making art” than I did coloring in those books at 26. I’ll be 27 in a few weeks + I hope this next year brings far more opportunities to color.
This afternoon I found myself at the same restaurant at our summer event painting. I know my bowling skills are not up to par + was not interested in embarrassing myself in front of my coworkers when I whipped out a score of 60 so I’d signed up for painting. As I sat there waiting to begin with a bottle of Stella Atois + a blank canvas in front of me (maybe 1/6 the size of last year’s canvas) I started to get very frustrated. I’m sure some of my coworkers were not participating in either activity + were just shooting the breeze outside. That’s where I should have been. But I’d chosen painting so that’s where I’d stay.
Not feeling particularly moved by any of this years sample pictures, though one was of Blackhawks feathers + I’d decided I was just going to do that, our instructors announced we could paint whatever we wanted + they’d help us. A quick consult of a few Pinterest boards brought forth nothing I “HAD” to paint so I googled “easy paintings.” I came across one that was a quarter of my sunflower (my favorite for those of you keeping score at home) sprouting from the corner of the canvas.As these often do, it seemed simple enough, but soon I was erasing pencil marks for what felt like the quadrillionth time + blue eraser shavings covered my section of the table, lap + surely the floor underneath me. Sensing my frustration, one of the instructors offered to help me draw my sunflower + not a moment too soon. My poor petals were more reminiscent of fingers than petals. With some quick tips on how to create similar colors with the paints provided, I was on my way. My sunflower experience was far more joyful than my skyline though still stressful being a perfectionist + trying to keep the background from invading my foreground. So still not therapeutic for me. I’m incredibly jealous if you can sit down at a canvas + just go to town like you’re Bob Ross or something. The canvas is not my friend until a drawing I can follow has been etched upon it.
It seems I’ll be pulling out my coloring books this weekend for some R+R amid catching up with friends, a concert, helping a friend move, spending time with my Aunt + Uncles pets while they’re away + writing. Hopefully your weekend presents you with the opportunity for some artistic R+R that calms you rather than stresses you!
xo.
