Travel Talk | Milwaukee Weekend

Just over a month ago I checked my phone after my Tuesday night Zumba toning class to find texts from my friends Natalie + Rachel Ann telling me we’re going to Milwaukee the last weekend of July to celebrate Rachel Ann’s birthday. I believe “Uh, what?” is exactly what came out of my mouth. I have family in Milwaukee + I only go there to see them. It would never occur to me to jet off to Milwaukee for a weekend getaway. If my family in or from Milwaukee finds their way to this post, I’m sure they’re rolling their eyes. It’s home for them so I’m sure the way they feel about it is similar to my feelings for Chicago.

We did some research, discussed a few breweries to visit, bought tickets for a taco + tequila tour + booked a hotel. Saturday morning came + by some strange miracle, I packed everything I needed in my small rolling suitcase. That doesn’t happen when I have to fly anywhere because my hairspray is way too big + I need options. I managed to fit some good options in this week: five pairs of shoes for a two day, one night road trip to Milwaukee. “Chellie, did you need that many pairs of shoes?!” Well I wore four of the five pairs so I think it’s fine…

The six of us split into two cars for the hour + forty minute drive to our parking spot. Natalie, Rachel Ann + I in my car, Rachel, Taylor + Becca in the other. One day I’ll have a seven passenger SUV so we can save money + all ride together but for now I’m quite content with my five passenger Ford Escape, henceforth to be referred to as Addison (It’s a Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice reference, NOT a Cubs reference. South Side ’til I die!), for the time being. After one quick “I missed the entrance to the parking garage” trip around the block, we were parked, outside + ready to start on our adventure. After a quick photo op under some arches along Milwaukee’s Riverwalk, we settled into a table in the sun at Ale Asylum for a round of beers + Pineapplecello shots (Think Limoncello, but with pineapple. As someone who studied in Italy + recently discovered she’s 10% Italian, I’ve gotta say I prefer Limoncello, but this was still good.) After another round of photos + a payment hiccup, we headed off to find another fun spot to hang out at before our tour.

A few minutes after finding a seat in the corner of the patio at The Harp Irish Pub with a Spotted Cow in hand, a mildly attractive man came up to us + asked if we would be interested in a PaddleTavern tour. We’d noticed the PaddleTavern on our way to Ale Asylum + definitely saw its potential but as women with strict budgets for this weekend, we weren’t spending $20 on an unplanned ticket + $2/can of crummy beer from the bar to bring with us. We politely declined. He offered to cut the price down to $15 but to us it still wasn’t worth it so the mildly attractive tour hustler got a “thanks but no thanks” from our squad. We continued to enjoy each other’s company until our friend came back + offered to take us for $10 each. At that point we decided it was worth it + headed to the bar to grab drinks to go.

Miller Lites + Coronas in hand, we boarded the PaddleTavern about to take on the best adventure + my personal favorite part of the weekend on the grossest river I’ve ever been on. I’m not kidding. I couldn’t even edit it to make it better. Unedited, it looks like brown sludge + our faces are in shadow. Edited, our faces look painted + the water is no better in a yellow-brown shade. You’d swear that wasn’t a color until you see it. The next hour + a half was spent laughing, talking, taking pictures + enjoying the fresh air. Moral of this story: if a man approaches you at a bar during daylight hours asking if you want a PaddleTavern tour, take him up on it, but don’t let him charge you more than $10.

All too soon we were docked back at The Harp. It was almost time to grab an Uber/Lyft to our pickup spot for our Tacos + Tequila bus tour, but not before a few of us grabbed a beer “for the road” aka, to drink before we went outside. Rachel + I grabbed a Lyft + made our way to the pickup spot. The rest of the girls arrived soon after from their Uber + we all boarded this squatty green bus. Around the corner was

Guadalajara, our first stop, where we enjoyed a delicious sope (not to be confused with sopa, it was way too hot for soup) + margaritas. I wish I could remember the names of our second, third + fourth stops to share with you but sadly I cannot. I can tell you our second restaurant fed us AMAZING chicken + steak fajitas with tequila sunrises. The fajitas were incredible, but we all agreed the tequila sunrise was far too sweet. After having our fill of fajitas, we made our way to their cute + eclectically decorated patio outside. We smushed together on a picnic bench giggling over who only knows what + those giggles were intensified by all the beer + tequila we’d enjoyed so far. Our third stop was kind of a letdown. We were served chicken (I think it was chicken) tamales in banana leaves (I’ve only had them in corn husks before so that was different) with a too sweet margarita. Too full from downing our sopes + fajitas, we couldn’t finish them + boarded the bus to stop #4, a bakery. I think this was the biggest bummer for me. In November before my taste buds were damaged, I would have been psyched that our dessert was a churro from an authentic Mexican bakery. But sadly, my memory of how wonderful churros are was not enough to mask the warped taste they give me on top of them seeming dried out. I ate three painstaking bites before sadly depositing the remainder in the trashcan on our bus.

Our bus driver was kind enough to drop us off at our hotel, but not before Rachel fell asleep + slept the whole way there. After checking in + attempting to settle in, we decided we’d had enough day drinking to satisfy our night drinking, changed into PJs + spent the rest of our night laughing + sharing stories like a grade school sleepover. A couple of us even fell off the bed from laughing so hard, but I won’t tell you who to protect the innocent. One of the most important things I’ve learned in my 20s is how important real friends are. If you just drink with them + never share your life, you’re not friends. In the words of Lil in Bridesmaids, “This is the most stone cold pack of weirdos + I’m so proud.”

The next day we were deciding between a fancy rooftop brunch + touring PBR. When we reached Cafe Benelux in Milwaukee’s Historic Third Ward + saw their rooftop, we knew we were not going to go on a single tour that day. We were putting our name in for a rooftop table + waiting an hour for that coveted spot. While we waited, we grabbed coffees + smoothies at the Milwaukee Public Market across the street. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before + everything I’d want in a grocery store as someone who prefers the freshest foods with the fewest ingredients. I only wished I had a cooler with me so I could have brought stuff home.

When our time had come to ascend to Cafe Benelux’s rooftop, we were all to ready. We laced our “Party” balloon compliments of Target’s Dollar Spot that we’d taken turns parading around Milwaukee carrying through the cables under the railing. I had the greatest Bloody Mary of my life, their Milwaukeean, + most of us enjoyed a Pretzel Eggs Benedict. With our stomachs content, we headed back to the parking garage to start our journey home… but not before a stop at Mars Cheese Castle. We sampled Wisconsin cheeses + munched on a few cheese curds, enjoying the last few golden moments of a fabulous weekend together. All too soon the exhaustion + the memory that Monday does come after Sunday + that we’d have to return to work + responsibilities in about 17 hours. We completed our purchases of meats, cheeses + kringle + were on our way, this weekend + all of its antics etched in our memory.

So the moral of this weekend:

• If your friends suggest a weekend trip to Milwaukee, do it!
• If a mildly attractive man approaches you during daylight hours + asks if you’d like to go on a boat cruise (+ you can verify that his company is legit), take him up on it!
• If you like Mexican food + tequila, go on the tour! Just don’t expect any tacos. That was false advertising.
• If you need somewhere to stay, try the mystery deals on Hotwire! Tay got us the hookup in a suite.
• You can still live on the edge + stay under budget on a weekend away!

xo.